Chapter 120

Geena stepped out of Carly's shower wrapped the towel around her and stood at the mirror , puffy red eyes glared right back at her , lack of sleep was proof in the way she looked right now , After a long sigh she traipsed into the bedroom , sliding on her underwear , she reached for a t shirt and shorts then plopped on the bed I left why? This hurts worse than if I had stayed -- no G you have to be strong .

She sat there for a moment contemplating her next move when her phone went off yet again. She knew it was Jon by the ring tone and after the countless times he had tried to call, she had been tempted to answer but she forced herself not to. Waiting for it to stop she carried it out to the kitchen where she found Bri and Carly chatting, well Carly chatting and Bri simply listening silently. She forced a smile onto her lips and said, “Hey, morning." She wasn't about to say good because there was nothing good about this morning or any morning with… She forcefully shook those thoughts away and settled herself at the table, her eyes on the pot sitting on the stove.

Carly stood and moved to the stove, her hand busily pouring a cup of hot tea. Sitting it before Geena she grinned, "Caffeine’s bad for ya." She winked and returned to her place at the table, "Told Miss Night Owl the same damn thing when she strolled in looking for coffee."

"Aw Caro I really need it. Please just one cup," Geena begged.

She felt her curls toss to and fro as she shook her head. "I don't think so missy. Tea will wake you up, or keep you going, cuz best I can figure neither one of you slept." She glanced at Bri a moment then back to Geena. "Wanna tell me what happened? You both weren't in any shape to talk last night, but I want to know dammit."

Geena swallowed hard. Just as she about to open her mouth her phone trilled yet again. She sighed deeply and let it ring. "You want the long or short version? Frankly I am not sure I can tell either version."

Carly huffed, "Well someone better speak up. Bri won’t say a word; she just gives me that deer in a headlights look. And where’s Richie or Jon? I didn't think there was a break in the tour yet."

Bri glanced at Geena, her hands twisting the one cup of tea she'd been sipping. She couldn't talk of abandoning her husband over a friend. She wasn't sure even Carly would understand, and the one person who might? She'd left them with a rather curt note over fifteen hours before. "Not my place to say Caro..."

Geena bit her trembling bottom lip as the tears threatened to fall for the millionth and one time. "I left Jon," was all she could muster at the moment.

Carly leaned back her mouth falling open. "You left..." She closed her eyes a moment and squeaked, "the one thing you've wanted for as long as I Know you?" She sat forward and studied Geena intently. "What the fucking hell happened?"

Geena slumped down in the kitchen chair, her hands fumbling with her phone "I-- he said -- I had to, " the tears came full force as she hiccupped. "I told Bri she shouldn't come, I could leave a--lone but… "

"You don't let a sister go off alone, especially one who...." Bri's words faded off as she returned her introspection to her tea. Bad enough she'd probably egged on this disaster; she wasn't going to compound that with letting Geena be alone. Not after all she'd done for her.

"Caro," she paused, "just listen." It had been the first time she even dared to listen to the endless line of messages so she wasn't exactly sure what he was saying in them. Right now she just couldn't relive that painful day. She pushed her voice mail number then punched in her code then waited.

"Baby, I know I was a jerk, I've said that the last twenty times I've called. It was wrong of me to take a bad mood out on Sabrina, no matter how she.." A loud huff echoed over the phone. ]"I just want to say how sorry I am baby. I do love you, the baby to. You have to come back.. you have to.. and you have to bring.. My life's at stake baby, in more ways than one."

Geena sat there staring at the phone, His life is at stake? She couldn’t help but wonder what he meant by that. "I dunno what to do Caro , it hurt if I stayed, it hurts even worse now." Geena paused, "Wait, what did he mean no matter how she? What exactly was said Bri?"

She felt the color flee her face and sighed. She'd not slept the night before; a bed without her husband in it was a very lonely place. Lifting her head she tried to smile. "He came to the door, pounded on it really, then demanded to know where Rich was. "

She shrugged slightly, "He called Rich pussy whipped just because he'd gone out for ice cream. He acted belligerent so I called him white toast. I told him exactly what I thought of his husbanding ability, how he plays up to all the women but couldn't be affectionate with you." She sighed, "Let’s just say it got heated from there out."

Geena sighed. "Still, it was no excuse for the things he said. " She glanced at her phone as it trilled again. “He isn't gonna stop is he? "

She shook her head, her cup lifting to her lips. "No probably not." She closed her eyes and pushed back the worry, "At least he's trying."

"Should I answer at least once? Tell him I need time?" Geena stood walked over to the kitchen window and stared out at bright sunny day nervously twisting her wedding ring on her finger."Hell, I don't know if I even made the right decision. I miss him so much, his smell, even the grouchy bear he is in the mornings before his coffee."

Carly watched her two friends, both who seemed in various stages of grief and mourning.

Geena's she could understand, Bri's she didn’t quite get. "Do you think he's learned anything yet G?"

"I dunno. He has been calling nonstop since I left but -- I dunno. I feel like I left my heart with him," Geena sniffed not daring to turn and look at her friends.

Carly nodded, "Well you have to do what you have to do girl, but I swear to God al lI want to do is hit him with a bat or something. No one should ever bring tears to my girls eyes."

She glanced over at Bri, her brow arching, "Not waiting much longer for you to explain yourself either missy. Why the hell would you leave Richie huh? Did he turn into a class A jerk too?"

Bri's eyes jerked upwards, "He's not a jerk Caro!" She felt her voice going high and hard, "He did nothing wrong, I did. I had to come with her, I had to. Friends are there for each other, she helped me when it was time to escape Jared. I had to help her. Don't you get it?" She stood suddenly and moved to the window, "Even if it means making someone else mad."

She shook her head, her words suddenly tumbling over themselves to get out. "She wouldn't have been in this hurt if it hadn't been for me. He wouldn't have been so mad, he wouldn't have said all those things. "

Geena turned to face Bri, her expression was one of confusion "What are you saying Bri ? He had no call to say those things. Don't care if he had blue balls or not."

Carly stared in disbelief. "Now Bri I'm sure you didn't do anything neither myself or G would have said to him. "

She whirled around, "I called him white toast okay? I said he was afraid of showing his feelings, I called him Xerox cardboard perfect." She lifted a hand to brush her bangs back from her face. "He insulted Richie, and that made me mad. I used the words I knew would make him mad. I just...." She glanced at Geena, "I never knew they'd hit home as hard as they did."

Carly huffed, " Still no excuse for saying what he said-- though neither of you have told me the whole story. Do I have to call David to get the full scoop?"

"He said we were nothin' but trouble, if he hadn't listened to Richie they wouldn't be in the shit they're in now," Geena replied sadly.

She felt the tears threaten and forced them down, "I know Richie hit him. They haven't really fought in years, and Richie hit him." She glanced at Geena then at Carly. "At least he's calling you now Geena."

"Yea well he deserved it, didn't he ? He was rude and hurt the both of us," Geena retorted. Her phone rang yet again. "Shit , he ain't gonna stop until I answer at least once.” She walked over to her phone and flipped it open. "Yea?" She looked at her friends, letting out a deep sigh.

Jon straightened in his chair when the phone didn't go to voice mail. Taking a deep breath he felt the smile on his lips. "Bout time you answered that phone beautiful."

"I figured if I didn't my voice mail would either get full or you would drive us all insane with the constant ringing of Bad Name," Geena answered her tone a bit short.

He winced at the reference to her ringtone. "When did it change from Born to be my baby?" His head thunked back against the chair at her grunt. "Ok, when I changed into an ass or at least proved I was one." His hand rose to rake through his hair. "I've regretted every word, ever second since you left. I'm.... Hell I'm just sorry Geena."

"I'm sure you are but what if I had stayed? Would it have happened again when you didn't get sex?" Geena’s tone was sad. "I just wanted you to love me and be supportive through this pregnancy. I'm not Dot! Please don't compare me to her."

He felt the growl before it escaped him. "You're nothing like her. Why the hell would I do that?"

"Because you have done it! You assume that just because I don't say anything that I’m okay. You know I even wished you were more like Richie sometimes, comforting when I need it. Hell I can see what it was like for Dot sometimes. I never said anything because I -- just was gonna deal just like she did. "

"She dealt by fucking around on me. She dealt by pretending I didn't exist, setting up her own little life. You are nothing like her Geena. I just didn't think about how scary it can be for someone. After going through it before it never occurred to me that you might be scared. You seem so brave."

"Yea well, would you have listened if I had said I was scared? You weren't even sure about this baby to begin with and I saw how angry you were when I got sick all over the sheets. You tried to hide it, but I can see right through you. " Geena walked into the living room and flopped down on the couch with a sigh.

"Well hell baby that shit smells." He made himself not laugh before continuing, "I’m not the only one who doesn't talk much. I had to learn, albeit in a very harsh way, why my wife needed what she needed. Seems we're both guilty of holding back?"

"For one you're busy all the time. When do you have time to talk? I just didn't think you cared, I didn't think it would matter to you what I needed . I just got used to it with my – nevermind," Geena replied. She was already in a deep state of sadness, all she needed was to relive her not so wonderful childhood.

"You got used to it cuz those things you called parents trained you that way, but baby, every night, even with you being sick we had time to talk. We COULD have talked. Part of that is my fault, I didn't ask the questions. And yes I can say its my fault because I was so blown away with my life changing so swiftly." He stood and moved to the window, his eyes staring at the morning sky. "Come home to me Geena. Lets start this over and make it right."

Geena sat there in silence for a moment, her hand drifted to her tummy where their child lay. “I dunno Jon. I don't know which hurts worse leaving or going back."

"Coming home won't hurt baby, I plan on showing you exactly what I've learned in the hours you've been gone. I'll teach you how it can.." his voice went soft and breathy, "How it can hurt so good."

"What have you learned?" She forced back a whimper. Hearing his voice again was nearly undoing her but when he softened it, well it reminded her being in bed, him behind her, his lips pressed against her ear as he whispered deliciously naughty words. She pinched her eyes shut while awaiting his answer.

"Learned I missed you, learned how empty it all seems when you aren't here. Fuck if I don't miss hearing you throw up. I've learned the damned room's too big without you giggling on the damned phone to a woman whose in the next room."

'You ain't just saying that? I mean it’s only been a few hours." 15 hrs 30 minutes 20 seconds to be exact.

"It only takes a few seconds for the silence to kill you."

Geena arched an eyebrow. "Sure you don't have Richie feeding you lines? "

"He's not talking to me right now. Said if he saw me he'd probably kill me."

'I can't say I as I blame him, but Bri did say something that threw me a bit." Geena paused, " she said maybe she might have egged you on a bit is this true?"

The grunt echoed through the line. "She said stuff sure, but nothing that warranted what I said. I was out of line Geena. Forgive me. Forgive me and let me spend the next forty or fifty years making it up to you. Forgive me. Come home. Just... forgive me."

“Just how will you make it up to me ? What if I go back and you do it again? I can't hurt like this again.” The tears started to fall again. "God I never ever have cried this much since – “

"I'm a man of my word. I'll keep my promise. It's too empty with you gone baby, I'll do what I have to do to not feel this every moment of every day."

Geena stood up, glanced at her friends, then slowly walked to the guest bedroom and shut the door behind her. Moving to the bed she lay down, her voice breathy. "It's empty here too," she admitted with a yawn.

"Forgive me Geena, Tell me I can make this right. I'll come to you so fast...."

"I wanna believe you . I wanna believe you can."

"I'm coming for you Geena, I'll prove it too you. I promise."

She snorted at the words. "You don't know where I'm at."

"With the sisterhood. I hear they are rather like the brotherhood... Unless I'm crazy that is, but I have the feeling you headed towards the one who could use a needle to make my life painful."

Geena laughed in spite of herself. " I guess there isn't anywhere I could run is there? You would find me?"

"Got that right baby. When its important to me I'll move heaven and earth to get it."

"Not sure it’s wise to come, the Jersey pitbull is very sweet but very vicious especially right now."

"I'll risk the pitbull."

Geena yawned again "You're wanting to make me a widow? Sorry about the yawns, didn't get much sleep. Actually I didn't get any and Carly the pitbull won't let me have coffee so… "

"I said I'll risk the pitbull, I have pitbull remover on hand. It comes in a package about six foot tall with crazy blonde curls."

“Okay. I'm too tired to -- argue anymore .God I am so easy " Geena said wearily. When he got there maybe she could stand strong again. Right now she was too damned tired to keep her defenses up

"I'll make it better baby. You'll see."