Chapter 73

The words he said in the car vibrated through her mind as they made their way to the elevator and up to his room. She hoped he meant them, she already had her heart out there and if he broke it she wasn't sure if she could handle it.

They stepped off the elevator and walked slowly to his room. He glanced at her a moment before sliding his key card in the slot. Is this going to be a good night or a bad night? Opening the door he held it open as she walked in, his slim hopes of forgiveness riding on a set of very tense but delectable set of shoulders.

She was nervous and didn't know why. She had been determined to leave when they left the arena, and after the ride, with what little talking he'd done she didn't think she could ever leave, even after what he had done to her best friend. There was something about him that made her want to stay and help him. She wasn't sure why she felt she could fix what seemed almost broken inside of him, but the glimmer of hope stubbornly refused to vanish.

He walked to the mini bar and sighed in relief to find his after show calm me down waiting for him. After the high of a show, or low of a show if things went wrong, he needed the nice long cool slide of wine in his system. Uncorking the bottle he poured two glasses and turned to offer her one.

The uncertain look in her eyes stunned him. She didn't need to be afraid of him. She was his woman, he'd never hurt her. Fuck that dickhead, you've done shit before to hurt the one you love, don't even make the promise, except to yourself.

He took a step to the couch and forced a smile to his lips as he motioned to the place beside him.

"Come on, take a load off."

Geena joined him, sitting down beside him on the couch while taking the glass. Taking a sip she murmured, "I so love this wine." God that was a stupid thing to say. She leaned back, resting her head on the back of the couch and waited on him to speak. No way was she going to make this easy on him.

He chuckled, "Yeah? Whaddaya know. It's one of mine too."

"Just the two hundred dollar a bottle kind or any of it?" She wondered again about his need for wine as he took a long slow sip.

He settled his glass on the table beside him, reached for hers and placed the glass beside his. "Yeah, well if ya can afford it buy it."

His hand snaked out to tinker with the neck of her blouse. "I may get slapped, but I think you're over dressed."

Geena abruptly pulled back and pushed his had away with a shake of her head. "You got to be kidding me. I think I'm dressed just fine." She gave him a stern look and slid away from his too tempting body. "You do all you did and you think you can get fresh with me?"

His brow flicked up at the sound of her voice. They had talked on the way here, he'd admitted he was wrong and she'd seemed like she had forgiven him. "I thought we had settled everything?"

Geena shot him a look. "On me not leaving we did, but I never said we would have sex, or even fool around a little. You haven't earned that right yet." She stood up her arms crossed. How dare he think I would sleep with him after what he pulled. He's lucky I'm not wanting my own room.

His head thudded back against the couch as he sighed, "All I said was you were overdressed."

His head turned and he got a load of her look of disbelief. "Ok so it was the lead in, but fuck baby, I said I was sorry to you."

"I know you did but you didn't apologize to Bri yet, and the need for that apology trumps any hormones you might have. " Geena paused to collect her thoughts and take a deep breath. " This wasn't a little thing that can be forgotten with a few kisses."

She nearly stomped her foot in frustration as he batted his eyes. "Don't you fuckin' dare stare at me like that. " She huffed quickly and turned away. His eyes always got to her and she be damned if they would get her tonight.

"I COULD try to apologize to her tonight, but if I do I'm liable to be missing a couple of teeth by morning."

"Well maybe you should. A bit of pain might jerk a knot in that head of yours," Geena replied sternly. "Sorry I ain't protecting you from their wrath. I'm barely holding on to mine as it is. You need to take it. If he punches your pretty face black and blue then maybe you might realize then just how cruel you were."

He grunted, "I said I was over the line, but fuck if I was as bad as her ex. Dammit, cut me some slack. I'm only human Geena."

Geena sighed, still refusing to look at him. She knew if she took at a look at him she might break down and give in. " I know you are but for me to give you what you want now isn't right. Its like rewarding a child for doing something bad."

His eyes widened as he chuckled, "Come on, you're gonna punish me for being bad? I'm not ten years old. I'm an adult, I get what I did was wrong, I'll make reparation to her somehow."

Geena swiftly turned around her body stiff, anger flashing in her eyes. "You didn't act like an adult just a few hours ago now did you? You threw a bonafide rock star prima donna temper tantrum and my BEST friend was the target."

"She started it," he grumbled quietly as he stood and moved to the mini bar. "Everyone knows how I am if things don't go perfectly, even the fans. Fuck if anything I do is private."

He reached for the second bottle of wine that was always ready for him, his entire being centered on getting it open. First damned bottle had quickly vanished during the conversation. He had no excuse for what he did, and he was repeating himself, but dammit why couldn't she let it go?

Geena snorted "She started it? Oh sure thats very adult of you right there. " rolling her eyes " Yes we all know how Mr. Has To Have It Perfect is, but hell Jon, are you so far gone the Jersey boy in you that would have brushed it off is lost forever? I had hoped to be able to help you find that person but I'm not sure if he can be found. I'm starting to wonder if he's willing to be found again."

His heart thudded hard against his ribs at her words, the censure in her voice yanking him around to stare her way. "I'll always be the Jersey boy. I'm just a lot older and I've seen too much to just be open now. Being open gets you hurt babe, usually by those you trust."

Geena nodded silently as her heart plummeted to her feet. "I see. So I guess for you to trust in me is out of the question then?" Maybe I should just go now before my heart gets torn to pieces.

He winced as she drove home the point, "That's not what I meant fuck it all." He stepped over to her his hands moving up to cup her cheeks, "It's just harder for me, for all the reasons you know, and once you get through my walls then I guess I expect folks to understand that here I can be myself, let go, say what I feel, without worry. Shit I have to watch my words everywhere I go Geena. Don't you get it? Inside the family is the only place I'm free to be. Most get that. I just forgot that Bri was new to it all."

Geena tried to look away but with his hands on her face she couldn't. In that moment she saw the pain etched deep into the blue eyes she loved so much. "I guess being on the inside isn't as glamorous as we all thought," she admitted softly.

His forehead dipped to rest on hers, "it never was, never will be, especially in moments like this."

Geena closed her eyes and slid her arms around his waist. She was so angry with him and should bolt out the door before she totally gave herself to him. Who am I kidding? I have already. She pulled back, hestitation in her voice. "I don't know why I'm staying. I should just go before I -- "

"Before you give me the chance to make it right? Would that be fair?"

Geena swallowed hard. "The thing is Jon, would you do it again the next time she says something? I mean hell, what if its me next time? I think I could handle your temper but not if my heart is involved." The words spilled out before she could stop them. Shit.Fuck! I didn't mean for that to pop out yet. She mentally scolded herself as she tore herself away from him. He didn't need to know that, not right now. She darted to the balcony, sliding open the door and stepping out as the flush of embarrassment coated her face.

He turned and made his way to the balcony door, his gaze settling on her tense back. "Thing is babe, I can't promise it won't happen again. I CAN promise to try, but I am who I am. Can you accept me warts and all, having faith that if I screw up," He chuckled slightly, "and I will screw up, I am a male. Can you accept that I'll do all in my power to make it right after? Can you still give me a chance knowing I'm not the perfect creature the pictures make me out to be?"

Geena stared off to city the lights shimmering before her. An occasional car zoomed by as the night was wound down. She dipped her head down in thought. Could she do it ? Could she give him the chance he asked for?

She turned to look up at him. "I want to but just so you know, I may seem like a tough cookie but I am not all that tough." Her admission was quietly made, so quiet she was pretty sure he couldn't hear it.

He stepped forward, his arms going around her waist gently. "I'm not as tough as I sound either sweetheart. I'm a better actor than most give me credit for. Like I said, not many places I can just be myself in. I am hoping that when Bri realizes that, she'll forgive me. Right now though, the question is, will you?"

Geena's last resolve left the moment his arms embraced her along with his confession " A'right you're forgiven," she answered. Call me a fool world, but I have to do this. I have to give it a try.